this isn't about society, just go be your best self, and be active/open, just remember things dont fall into your lap, you wont make friends if you dont try to interact wtih people. it might be really wack and hard online but just in general. im no genius at being sociable, i dont have the greatest number of friends, but i am happy with what i got, and thats where eveyrone should be ideally. gl sir :)
Unless you solve your social anxiety problem there is no way to change the situation.
So I suggest you to solve the social anxiety problem because IT is the problem. You cant try a solution if you keep the problem with you.
Normally it is not hard. You go to people, you start to talk, you start to find what are the best people to stay with and ect..
But all those things are impossible if you have social anxiety and since you will never do those things you will never have the opportunity to make good friends.
You cant pretend that people will come to you and start to talk with you since you are the first one that does not do that and many people have the same problems that you have.
once you go to the university teachers (i dont know the english word) calls you collegue even your lets say classmates in your group can call you collegue especially if they don't know your name. Some teachers don't tend to remembers student names because its hard to remember them especially if they're a couple of hundreds every year (at least the first two years). So the therm collegue is just a way to address someone and teachers uses it all the time. I don't know for SEA, but from where im from we usually say: "Mr, Mrs what are we gonna do". Some times we can say: "professor: "name" when is the exam". Also the word collegue referes that you might work the same specialty as your professor and thats basically it (this depends on the situation, but usually they dont mind). University ain't hard or nothing to be afraid of. The only difference between school is that youll need to study a lot more by yourself and if you don't attend to the lecture's you'll have harder time studying unless you've friends who can give you their writings. Also there's nothing wrong with becoming friends or close to your teachers also don't be afraid to ask them questions they might answer some or they might help you with else and so on.
First of all I'd like to tell you believe it or not (Not trying to flex or anything), I was always one of the popular guy in any school I went. When I was in elementary school I wasn't as popular as I said, probably only some senior students knows me because I had neighbour that was also popular and was the same school as me, he is years older than me, we always going home together.
And then when I was grade 3, I had to move to another state because it's time for my divorced dad to take care of me. I had to leave my best friend because of this and I get so angry and caused me to have a little bit of depression, yes grade 3 fucking real depression not fake depression or some emotional swing just for narcissist.
I became really quite person after that, and in my new school I rarely leave my class, nobody knows me, rarely talked to girl even in my own class, and a lot of times I heard the girls whispering to her friends that I'm a weird person because I rarely talked.
And then in 2009 my dad bought me my first PC for my birthday, at that time I was only 8 years old. In my early days using internet, I only play a Facebook game called "Pockie Ninja 2 Social" because I really love watching Naruto at that time and the game is about Naruto arc.
And I don't know when the exact time but then after like 3 year using internet, I found an article in Facebook homepage about human psychology, it wasn't heavy writing shit, it was just like 1 sentence about my problem at that state if I remember, and then it hitted me.
The next day my behavior suddenly change, I don't know why but it's probably because I always feel tired of "depressed" and I want to be myself again, and I realized how it feels to be depressed, and I don't want other people to feel this kind of things, so I become energetic and cherish person, it was really hard to forced it the first time I tried it but because I have strong will of realization of my problem I force it until I make it.
This happened around 2013 when I almost graduated from elementary school, I had to redo 1 grade than usual because I went to another state. The first I joined a junior high school, I finally be myself again like before and man it was so great. Fast forward 1 year, 50% of people in that school probably already know me, and 10% of them are close to me, even though I didn't know their name, but they always greet me with my name perfectly without forgeting.
The reason why I'm popular and have a lot of "friends" is because I don't care what everyone think of me, and I always be myself, because of this most people think I'm unique person and not just a doppelganger personality of other people but a different person. When I say "unique" it's not like I'm a cool person or chad, no, I'm a weird person that act that he knows every people even when he just meet someone, I treat people I just met like I've know him for years, when our teacher leave the class I like doing stuff like climb the chair with my friends, we basically like an ape. People likes to tease me using the word "Spongebob" because I had similar personality like him, I know that some of you might think that this is an insult, and sometimes I think that too because Spongebob is not so smart person, but I don't care I like it when they call it that way, as long as they're not hard intended to do harm to me.
And after 3 years in that school, I was in top 1, the most popular guy in school, and 60% of them already talked to me in person, and the other 40% probably too shy and I didn't really feel like I want to know or talk them or feel like they're interest to me.
After graduated to senior high school I was still in top 10, but it's harder than before because the more famous you are, the more haters you have, and in senior high school, but luckly in my country, it's not the same as other country, where there are bullies in school that will physically beat you, because I'm not really that strong man or have muscles at that time if that happen.
But comparing my popularity for boys and girls, I was more popular in boys but a lot of girls are happy to talk to me too, I have taken all my female friends in my class with my motorcycle to their house and going out with them (You might think this is normal for some country, but not many people in my country can do this, they prefer to go with their parents)
I know this is a lot of flexes but I just want to convince you that I'm qualified and can really help you with your problem.
TLD;DR: I was really popular in school probably top 1, and don't "make" friends let people come to you. Stop creating problem that doesn't even exist, what people think of you is not always the same as you think they think of you. You're anxious about feeling anxiety you feel like you should not be experiencing. You're worried that future will always feel like this. Just be yourself, I know you hate this quote but most people think that they are being themselves but none of them are actually being themselves that way you can be happy, you have to force yourself stop being a bitch. Act close to everybody you just meet, act like you known them for years. Be brave, when there are group standing, go up to them and talk to them. Stop caring about what people think because they are living their lives and you are living yours and just do what you like as long as it does not harm other people. You should go out and have fun and they will come to you, and finally friends will look at you in a way that you will feel there is something going on.
First of all I'd like to tell you believe it or not (Not trying to flex or anything), I was always one of the popular guy in any school I went. When I was in elementary school I wasn't as popular as I said, probably only some senior students knows me because I had neighbour that was also popular and was the same school as me, he is years older than me, we always going home together.
And then when I was grade 3, I had to move to another state because it's time for my divorced dad to take care of me. I had to leave my best friend because of this and I get so angry and caused me to have a little bit of depression, yes grade 3 fucking real depression not fake depression or some emotional swing just for narcissist.
I became really quite person after that, and in my new school I rarely leave my class, nobody knows me, rarely talked to girl even in my own class, and a lot of times I heard the girls whispering to her friends that I'm a weird person because I rarely talked.
And then in 2009 my dad bought me my first PC for my birthday, at that time I was only 8 years old. In my early days using internet, I only play a Facebook game called "Pockie Ninja 2 Social" because I really love watching Naruto at that time and the game is about Naruto arc.
And I don't know when the exact time but then after like 3 year using internet, I found an article in Facebook homepage about human psychology, it wasn't heavy writing shit, it was just like 1 sentence about my problem at that state if I remember, and then it hitted me.
The next day my behavior suddenly change, I don't know why but it's probably because I always feel tired of "depressed" and I want to be myself again, and I realized how it feels to be depressed, and I don't want other people to feel this kind of things, so I become energetic and cherish person, it was really hard to forced it the first time I tried it but because I have strong will of realization of my problem I force it until I make it.
This happened around 2013 when I almost graduated from elementary school, I had to redo 1 grade than usual because I went to another state. The first I joined a junior high school, I finally be myself again like before and man it was so great. Fast forward 1 year, 50% of people in that school probably already know me, and 10% of them are close to me, even though I didn't know their name, but they always greet me with my name perfectly without forgeting.
The reason why I'm popular and have a lot of "friends" is because I don't care what everyone think of me, and I always be myself, because of this most people think I'm unique person and not just a doppelganger personality of other people but a different person. When I say "unique" it's not like I'm a cool person or chad, no, I'm a weird person that act that he knows every people even when he just meet someone, I treat people I just met like I've know him for years, when our teacher leave the class I like doing stuff like climb the chair with my friends, we basically like an ape. People likes to tease me using the word "Spongebob" because I had similar personality like him, I know that some of you might think that this is an insult, and sometimes I think that too because Spongebob is not so smart person, but I don't care I like it when they call it that way, as long as they're not hard intended to do harm to me.
And after 3 years in that school, I was in top 1, the most popular guy in school, and 60% of them already talked to me in person, and the other 40% probably too shy and I didn't really feel like I want to know or talk them or feel like they're interest to me.
After graduated to senior high school I was still in top 10, but it's harder than before because the more famous you are, the more haters you have, and in senior high school, but luckly in my country, it's not the same as other country, where there are bullies in school that will physically beat you, because I'm not really that strong man or have muscles at that time if that happen.
But comparing my popularity for boys and girls, I was more popular in boys but a lot of girls are happy to talk to me too, I have taken all my female friends in my class with my motorcycle to their house and going out with them (You might think this is normal for some country, but not many people in my country can do this, they prefer to go with their parents)
I know this is a lot of flexes but I just want to convince you that I'm qualified and can really help you with your problem.
TLD;DR: I was really popular in school probably top 1, and don't "make" friends let people come to you. Stop creating problem that doesn't even exist, what people think of you is not always the same as you think they think of you. You're anxious about feeling anxiety you feel like you should not be experiencing. You're worried that future will always feel like this. Just be yourself, I know you hate this quote but most people think that they are being themselves but none of them are actually being themselves that way you can be happy, you have to force yourself stop being a bitch. Act close to everybody you just meet, act like you known them for years. Be brave, when there are group standing, go up to them and talk to them. Stop caring about what people think because they are living their lives and you are living yours and just do what you like as long as it does not harm other people. You should go out and have fun and they will come to you, and finally friends will look at you in a way that you will feel there is something going on.
do remember tho u dont have to be popular ur only goal should be to feel satisfied and content, if you dont then keep trying to get there, and solve whatever problems are stopping you, and if you are content, then maintain it.
Nice story HD i used to not care about what other think too and became really popular in college a many years ago during my late teens. Mainly because I didn't care what people think and thought I was egoless and thus couldn't be brought down etc. Fast forward time I got hurt so bad because of my no care attitude that got me popular in the first place My whole character or ego died and I had to remake it I broke away from many circles. my personality changed to be more reserved and I became less popular because of that
Alot more happen after that and I grew a lot these past years now I am a master of psychology and philosophy a true elite of society.
But yes not caring makes you popular however to not care is to have low empathy which may make you a horrible friend/partner
And to op, anxiety stems from trying to predict social situations. Your mind is going through multiple scenarios(includes negative ones which is stressful) before you respond/act.
You might have gotten this mental issue due to playing Dota from young which is a game that REWARDS you to imagine into the future. If you freeze due to a very unexpected social situation and don't know how to react(all responses are wrong) it is due to this phenomena, because you try to predict your social interactions before they happen with certain cues. Know this and master your brain
^yeah, but how to "master your brain". im serious. like how u wanna stop your brain from functioning? i think it can only done by medicine. u cant stop voices in your head on your own
First of all I'd like to tell you believe it or not (Not trying to smurf or anything), I was always one of the top carry in any gamel I went. When I was in archon school I wasn't as popular as I said, probably only some higher mmr students knows me because I had a smurf that was also popular and was the same bracket as me, he is years older than me, we always play together.
And then when I was legend 3, I had to move to another state because it's time for my divorced crystal maiden to take care of me. I had to leave my best support because of this and I get so angry and caused me to have a little bit of jungle warding, yes grade 3 fucking real jungle warding not fake warding or some emotional item break just for narcissist.
I became really quite person after that, and in my new bracket I rarely leave my lane, nobody knows me, rarely talked to girl even in my own class, and a lot of times I heard the supports whispering to her friends that I'm a weird person because I rarely talked.
And then in 2009 my dad bought me my first PC for my birthday, at that time I was only 8 years old. In my early days using internet, I only play a Facebook game called "Pockie Ninja 2 Social" because I really love watching Naruto at that time and the game is about Naruto arc.
And I don't know when the exact time but then after like 3 year using internet, I found an article in dotafire homepage about human psychology, it wasn't heavy writing shit, it was just like 1 sentence written by artour about my problem at that state if I remember, rtz wrote "Good jokes mate real funny See you at FUCK YOUJ", and then it hitted me.
The next day my behavior score suddenly change, I don't know why but it's probably because I always feel tired of "depressed" and I want to be myself again, and I realized how it feels to be depressed, and I don't want other people to feel this kind of things, so I become a `psand cherish person, it was really hard to forced it the first time I tried it but because I have strong will of behavior score of my problem I force it until I make it.
This happened around 2013 when I almost graduated from legend 5, I had to redo ancient 1 grade than usual because I went to another patch. The first I joined a ranked match, I finally be myself again like before and man it was so great. Fast forward 1 year, 50% of people in that bracket probably already know me, and 10% of them are muting me, even though I didn't know their name, but they always greet me with my name perfectly without forgeting "raport crystal"
The reason why I'm popular and have a lot of "mutes" is because I don't care what everyone think of me, and I always be myself, because of this most people think I'm unique person and not just a doppelganger smurf account of other people but a different person. When I say "smurf" it's not like I'm a cool person or chad, no, I'm a weird person that act that he knows every people even when he just meet someone, I treat people I just met like I've know him for years, when our teacher leave the class I like doing stuff like climb the bracket with my friends, we basically like an ape. People likes to tease me using the word "dumbfuck" because I had similar personality like him, I know that some of you might think that this is an insult, and sometimes I think that too because dumbfuck is not so smart person, but I don't care I like it when they call it that way, as long as they're not hard intended to do harm to me.
And after 3 years in that ranked, I was in top in divine, the most popular guy in the bracket, and 60% of them already told me to kill myself in person, and the other 40% probably muted me and I didn't really feel like I want to know or talk them or feel like they're interest to me.
After graduated to immortall I was still in top 10, but it's harder than before because the more famous you are, the more haters you have, and in senior bracket, but luckly in my country, it's not the same as other country, where there are bullies in school that will physically beat you, because I'm not really that strong man or have enough reports in my account at that time if that happen.
But comparing my popularity for boys and girls, I was more popular in boys but a lot of girls are happy to talk to me too, I have taken all my female friends in my class with my real account to their house and streamed with them (You might think this is normal for some country, but not many people in my country can do this, they prefer to go with their parents)
I know this is a lot of flexes but I just want to convince you that I'm qualified and can really help you with your problem.
You can change your thought process through discovering the root reasoning of your previous neural path then you can actively try to replace it with your new desired thought process. Really depends on what you want to change and how strong the emotions that caused the initial thought process in the first place and your own reasonings to change.
Before you can even start to visit the root of how your brain work for certain situations.
You need to be able to feel emotions. If you are a instant gratification koomer you will need to let the desire for dopamine decay and then you can physically feel your emotions.
Medicine does not change how you think permanently it just turns your brain into sleep mode
@legendaryhd, i've read your comment, its good, I kept thinking about what others would think about me to the point that it became worse and I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone, I skipped classes because of it, just the thought of it made me scared. Days with group activity to be exact
When the teachers asked why I've been skipping classes, i told them I've been playing dota but I was just really in my room staring blankly at the ceiling.
I lied a lot to make me feel better, I lied to others to not affect them with my negativity
Welcome to the avoidant escapist club, where you isolate yourself from the world in order to avoid the feeling of shame that stems from failure and rejection, letting every day go by without putting yourself out there, challenging yourself, cultivating yourself, but rather numbing yourself to the point where you can't even feel the slightest hint of excitement, joy or curiosity anymore 'cause you took the decision to stop facing the lows in your life. But life is like a rollercoaster ride, if you can't go through the lows you won't experience the highs either. It will become a predictable, pain but also surprise free, flat line and all there is about you will be consumed slowly by apathy. All this in the name of security, safety and predictability. The ego loves it, this illusory and unnatural permanence of things as it gives an equally fake sense of control, but for our soul and spirit it represents death, as what fuels them is to live fully, to go with the flow and experience all the natural changes it brings, like a child that is curious and excited to see things for the first time. You're letting your ego bury and eventually destroy your self through its lies, as fear is nothing but a lie. I promise you, you won't die from failure and rejection, your ego will. You will die if you don't accept the challenge. Seek help if you feel like you can't make it alone, but do not let that happen at any cost.
Abyss simple solution, just hmu I'll visit you sa UST, ayun may kaibigan ka na xD
Or transfer to Ateneo (though I'm graduating in December so make it fast lol)
this isn't about society, just go be your best self, and be active/open, just remember things dont fall into your lap, you wont make friends if you dont try to interact wtih people. it might be really wack and hard online but just in general. im no genius at being sociable, i dont have the greatest number of friends, but i am happy with what i got, and thats where eveyrone should be ideally. gl sir :)
i wil swap my mmr to becom 10k mmr plox volvo
Just latom
Unless you solve your social anxiety problem there is no way to change the situation.
So I suggest you to solve the social anxiety problem because IT is the problem. You cant try a solution if you keep the problem with you.
Normally it is not hard. You go to people, you start to talk, you start to find what are the best people to stay with and ect..
But all those things are impossible if you have social anxiety and since you will never do those things you will never have the opportunity to make good friends.
You cant pretend that people will come to you and start to talk with you since you are the first one that does not do that and many people have the same problems that you have.
^this is true tbh
once you go to the university teachers (i dont know the english word) calls you collegue even your lets say classmates in your group can call you collegue especially if they don't know your name. Some teachers don't tend to remembers student names because its hard to remember them especially if they're a couple of hundreds every year (at least the first two years). So the therm collegue is just a way to address someone and teachers uses it all the time. I don't know for SEA, but from where im from we usually say: "Mr, Mrs what are we gonna do". Some times we can say: "professor: "name" when is the exam". Also the word collegue referes that you might work the same specialty as your professor and thats basically it (this depends on the situation, but usually they dont mind). University ain't hard or nothing to be afraid of. The only difference between school is that youll need to study a lot more by yourself and if you don't attend to the lecture's you'll have harder time studying unless you've friends who can give you their writings. Also there's nothing wrong with becoming friends or close to your teachers also don't be afraid to ask them questions they might answer some or they might help you with else and so on.
First of all I'd like to tell you believe it or not (Not trying to flex or anything), I was always one of the popular guy in any school I went. When I was in elementary school I wasn't as popular as I said, probably only some senior students knows me because I had neighbour that was also popular and was the same school as me, he is years older than me, we always going home together.
And then when I was grade 3, I had to move to another state because it's time for my divorced dad to take care of me. I had to leave my best friend because of this and I get so angry and caused me to have a little bit of depression, yes grade 3 fucking real depression not fake depression or some emotional swing just for narcissist.
I became really quite person after that, and in my new school I rarely leave my class, nobody knows me, rarely talked to girl even in my own class, and a lot of times I heard the girls whispering to her friends that I'm a weird person because I rarely talked.
And then in 2009 my dad bought me my first PC for my birthday, at that time I was only 8 years old. In my early days using internet, I only play a Facebook game called "Pockie Ninja 2 Social" because I really love watching Naruto at that time and the game is about Naruto arc.
And I don't know when the exact time but then after like 3 year using internet, I found an article in Facebook homepage about human psychology, it wasn't heavy writing shit, it was just like 1 sentence about my problem at that state if I remember, and then it hitted me.
The next day my behavior suddenly change, I don't know why but it's probably because I always feel tired of "depressed" and I want to be myself again, and I realized how it feels to be depressed, and I don't want other people to feel this kind of things, so I become energetic and cherish person, it was really hard to forced it the first time I tried it but because I have strong will of realization of my problem I force it until I make it.
This happened around 2013 when I almost graduated from elementary school, I had to redo 1 grade than usual because I went to another state. The first I joined a junior high school, I finally be myself again like before and man it was so great. Fast forward 1 year, 50% of people in that school probably already know me, and 10% of them are close to me, even though I didn't know their name, but they always greet me with my name perfectly without forgeting.
The reason why I'm popular and have a lot of "friends" is because I don't care what everyone think of me, and I always be myself, because of this most people think I'm unique person and not just a doppelganger personality of other people but a different person. When I say "unique" it's not like I'm a cool person or chad, no, I'm a weird person that act that he knows every people even when he just meet someone, I treat people I just met like I've know him for years, when our teacher leave the class I like doing stuff like climb the chair with my friends, we basically like an ape. People likes to tease me using the word "Spongebob" because I had similar personality like him, I know that some of you might think that this is an insult, and sometimes I think that too because Spongebob is not so smart person, but I don't care I like it when they call it that way, as long as they're not hard intended to do harm to me.
And after 3 years in that school, I was in top 1, the most popular guy in school, and 60% of them already talked to me in person, and the other 40% probably too shy and I didn't really feel like I want to know or talk them or feel like they're interest to me.
After graduated to senior high school I was still in top 10, but it's harder than before because the more famous you are, the more haters you have, and in senior high school, but luckly in my country, it's not the same as other country, where there are bullies in school that will physically beat you, because I'm not really that strong man or have muscles at that time if that happen.
But comparing my popularity for boys and girls, I was more popular in boys but a lot of girls are happy to talk to me too, I have taken all my female friends in my class with my motorcycle to their house and going out with them (You might think this is normal for some country, but not many people in my country can do this, they prefer to go with their parents)
I know this is a lot of flexes but I just want to convince you that I'm qualified and can really help you with your problem.
TLD;DR: I was really popular in school probably top 1, and don't "make" friends let people come to you. Stop creating problem that doesn't even exist, what people think of you is not always the same as you think they think of you. You're anxious about feeling anxiety you feel like you should not be experiencing. You're worried that future will always feel like this. Just be yourself, I know you hate this quote but most people think that they are being themselves but none of them are actually being themselves that way you can be happy, you have to force yourself stop being a bitch. Act close to everybody you just meet, act like you known them for years. Be brave, when there are group standing, go up to them and talk to them. Stop caring about what people think because they are living their lives and you are living yours and just do what you like as long as it does not harm other people. You should go out and have fun and they will come to you, and finally friends will look at you in a way that you will feel there is something going on.
I just spent 45 fucking minutes writing this, in an online forum, and I don't even feel like people will read it all, I will never do this again.
First of all I'd like to tell you believe it or not (Not trying to flex or anything), I was always one of the popular guy in any school I went. When I was in elementary school I wasn't as popular as I said, probably only some senior students knows me because I had neighbour that was also popular and was the same school as me, he is years older than me, we always going home together.
And then when I was grade 3, I had to move to another state because it's time for my divorced dad to take care of me. I had to leave my best friend because of this and I get so angry and caused me to have a little bit of depression, yes grade 3 fucking real depression not fake depression or some emotional swing just for narcissist.
I became really quite person after that, and in my new school I rarely leave my class, nobody knows me, rarely talked to girl even in my own class, and a lot of times I heard the girls whispering to her friends that I'm a weird person because I rarely talked.
And then in 2009 my dad bought me my first PC for my birthday, at that time I was only 8 years old. In my early days using internet, I only play a Facebook game called "Pockie Ninja 2 Social" because I really love watching Naruto at that time and the game is about Naruto arc.
And I don't know when the exact time but then after like 3 year using internet, I found an article in Facebook homepage about human psychology, it wasn't heavy writing shit, it was just like 1 sentence about my problem at that state if I remember, and then it hitted me.
The next day my behavior suddenly change, I don't know why but it's probably because I always feel tired of "depressed" and I want to be myself again, and I realized how it feels to be depressed, and I don't want other people to feel this kind of things, so I become energetic and cherish person, it was really hard to forced it the first time I tried it but because I have strong will of realization of my problem I force it until I make it.
This happened around 2013 when I almost graduated from elementary school, I had to redo 1 grade than usual because I went to another state. The first I joined a junior high school, I finally be myself again like before and man it was so great. Fast forward 1 year, 50% of people in that school probably already know me, and 10% of them are close to me, even though I didn't know their name, but they always greet me with my name perfectly without forgeting.
The reason why I'm popular and have a lot of "friends" is because I don't care what everyone think of me, and I always be myself, because of this most people think I'm unique person and not just a doppelganger personality of other people but a different person. When I say "unique" it's not like I'm a cool person or chad, no, I'm a weird person that act that he knows every people even when he just meet someone, I treat people I just met like I've know him for years, when our teacher leave the class I like doing stuff like climb the chair with my friends, we basically like an ape. People likes to tease me using the word "Spongebob" because I had similar personality like him, I know that some of you might think that this is an insult, and sometimes I think that too because Spongebob is not so smart person, but I don't care I like it when they call it that way, as long as they're not hard intended to do harm to me.
And after 3 years in that school, I was in top 1, the most popular guy in school, and 60% of them already talked to me in person, and the other 40% probably too shy and I didn't really feel like I want to know or talk them or feel like they're interest to me.
After graduated to senior high school I was still in top 10, but it's harder than before because the more famous you are, the more haters you have, and in senior high school, but luckly in my country, it's not the same as other country, where there are bullies in school that will physically beat you, because I'm not really that strong man or have muscles at that time if that happen.
But comparing my popularity for boys and girls, I was more popular in boys but a lot of girls are happy to talk to me too, I have taken all my female friends in my class with my motorcycle to their house and going out with them (You might think this is normal for some country, but not many people in my country can do this, they prefer to go with their parents)
I know this is a lot of flexes but I just want to convince you that I'm qualified and can really help you with your problem.
TLD;DR: I was really popular in school probably top 1, and don't "make" friends let people come to you. Stop creating problem that doesn't even exist, what people think of you is not always the same as you think they think of you. You're anxious about feeling anxiety you feel like you should not be experiencing. You're worried that future will always feel like this. Just be yourself, I know you hate this quote but most people think that they are being themselves but none of them are actually being themselves that way you can be happy, you have to force yourself stop being a bitch. Act close to everybody you just meet, act like you known them for years. Be brave, when there are group standing, go up to them and talk to them. Stop caring about what people think because they are living their lives and you are living yours and just do what you like as long as it does not harm other people. You should go out and have fun and they will come to you, and finally friends will look at you in a way that you will feel there is something going on.
do remember tho u dont have to be popular ur only goal should be to feel satisfied and content, if you dont then keep trying to get there, and solve whatever problems are stopping you, and if you are content, then maintain it.
Nice story HD i used to not care about what other think too and became really popular in college a many years ago during my late teens. Mainly because I didn't care what people think and thought I was egoless and thus couldn't be brought down etc. Fast forward time I got hurt so bad because of my no care attitude that got me popular in the first place My whole character or ego died and I had to remake it I broke away from many circles. my personality changed to be more reserved and I became less popular because of that
Alot more happen after that and I grew a lot these past years now I am a master of psychology and philosophy a true elite of society.
But yes not caring makes you popular however to not care is to have low empathy which may make you a horrible friend/partner
^damn son, who are you???? it feels like im reading 90% of my past life. did i found my soulmate? UwU
And to op, anxiety stems from trying to predict social situations. Your mind is going through multiple scenarios(includes negative ones which is stressful) before you respond/act.
You might have gotten this mental issue due to playing Dota from young which is a game that REWARDS you to imagine into the future. If you freeze due to a very unexpected social situation and don't know how to react(all responses are wrong) it is due to this phenomena, because you try to predict your social interactions before they happen with certain cues. Know this and master your brain
^yeah, but how to "master your brain". im serious. like how u wanna stop your brain from functioning? i think it can only done by medicine. u cant stop voices in your head on your own
First of all I'd like to tell you believe it or not (Not trying to smurf or anything), I was always one of the top carry in any gamel I went. When I was in archon school I wasn't as popular as I said, probably only some higher mmr students knows me because I had a smurf that was also popular and was the same bracket as me, he is years older than me, we always play together.
And then when I was legend 3, I had to move to another state because it's time for my divorced crystal maiden to take care of me. I had to leave my best support because of this and I get so angry and caused me to have a little bit of jungle warding, yes grade 3 fucking real jungle warding not fake warding or some emotional item break just for narcissist.
I became really quite person after that, and in my new bracket I rarely leave my lane, nobody knows me, rarely talked to girl even in my own class, and a lot of times I heard the supports whispering to her friends that I'm a weird person because I rarely talked.
And then in 2009 my dad bought me my first PC for my birthday, at that time I was only 8 years old. In my early days using internet, I only play a Facebook game called "Pockie Ninja 2 Social" because I really love watching Naruto at that time and the game is about Naruto arc.
And I don't know when the exact time but then after like 3 year using internet, I found an article in dotafire homepage about human psychology, it wasn't heavy writing shit, it was just like 1 sentence written by artour about my problem at that state if I remember, rtz wrote "Good jokes mate real funny See you at FUCK YOUJ", and then it hitted me.
The next day my behavior score suddenly change, I don't know why but it's probably because I always feel tired of "depressed" and I want to be myself again, and I realized how it feels to be depressed, and I don't want other people to feel this kind of things, so I become a `psand cherish person, it was really hard to forced it the first time I tried it but because I have strong will of behavior score of my problem I force it until I make it.
This happened around 2013 when I almost graduated from legend 5, I had to redo ancient 1 grade than usual because I went to another patch. The first I joined a ranked match, I finally be myself again like before and man it was so great. Fast forward 1 year, 50% of people in that bracket probably already know me, and 10% of them are muting me, even though I didn't know their name, but they always greet me with my name perfectly without forgeting "raport crystal"
The reason why I'm popular and have a lot of "mutes" is because I don't care what everyone think of me, and I always be myself, because of this most people think I'm unique person and not just a doppelganger smurf account of other people but a different person. When I say "smurf" it's not like I'm a cool person or chad, no, I'm a weird person that act that he knows every people even when he just meet someone, I treat people I just met like I've know him for years, when our teacher leave the class I like doing stuff like climb the bracket with my friends, we basically like an ape. People likes to tease me using the word "dumbfuck" because I had similar personality like him, I know that some of you might think that this is an insult, and sometimes I think that too because dumbfuck is not so smart person, but I don't care I like it when they call it that way, as long as they're not hard intended to do harm to me.
And after 3 years in that ranked, I was in top in divine, the most popular guy in the bracket, and 60% of them already told me to kill myself in person, and the other 40% probably muted me and I didn't really feel like I want to know or talk them or feel like they're interest to me.
After graduated to immortall I was still in top 10, but it's harder than before because the more famous you are, the more haters you have, and in senior bracket, but luckly in my country, it's not the same as other country, where there are bullies in school that will physically beat you, because I'm not really that strong man or have enough reports in my account at that time if that happen.
But comparing my popularity for boys and girls, I was more popular in boys but a lot of girls are happy to talk to me too, I have taken all my female friends in my class with my real account to their house and streamed with them (You might think this is normal for some country, but not many people in my country can do this, they prefer to go with their parents)
I know this is a lot of flexes but I just want to convince you that I'm qualified and can really help you with your problem.
You can change your thought process through discovering the root reasoning of your previous neural path then you can actively try to replace it with your new desired thought process. Really depends on what you want to change and how strong the emotions that caused the initial thought process in the first place and your own reasonings to change.
Before you can even start to visit the root of how your brain work for certain situations.
You need to be able to feel emotions. If you are a instant gratification koomer you will need to let the desire for dopamine decay and then you can physically feel your emotions.
Medicine does not change how you think permanently it just turns your brain into sleep mode
Thanks for the replies
@legendaryhd, i've read your comment, its good, I kept thinking about what others would think about me to the point that it became worse and I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone, I skipped classes because of it, just the thought of it made me scared. Days with group activity to be exact
When the teachers asked why I've been skipping classes, i told them I've been playing dota but I was just really in my room staring blankly at the ceiling.
I lied a lot to make me feel better, I lied to others to not affect them with my negativity
@tortoise,
Tru
Hit the gym. Talk to everyone you can. Embrace who you are and acknowledge college will fly fast so make the most of it.
if i understood the situation right, he probably gonna have stupid feelings when lifting weights too
If you can't go to gym because of the social anxiety, just do it at home, you will feel better after you workout and feel more confidence.
Check this basic guide on how to get fit /fit/.
Welcome to the avoidant escapist club, where you isolate yourself from the world in order to avoid the feeling of shame that stems from failure and rejection, letting every day go by without putting yourself out there, challenging yourself, cultivating yourself, but rather numbing yourself to the point where you can't even feel the slightest hint of excitement, joy or curiosity anymore 'cause you took the decision to stop facing the lows in your life. But life is like a rollercoaster ride, if you can't go through the lows you won't experience the highs either. It will become a predictable, pain but also surprise free, flat line and all there is about you will be consumed slowly by apathy. All this in the name of security, safety and predictability. The ego loves it, this illusory and unnatural permanence of things as it gives an equally fake sense of control, but for our soul and spirit it represents death, as what fuels them is to live fully, to go with the flow and experience all the natural changes it brings, like a child that is curious and excited to see things for the first time. You're letting your ego bury and eventually destroy your self through its lies, as fear is nothing but a lie. I promise you, you won't die from failure and rejection, your ego will. You will die if you don't accept the challenge. Seek help if you feel like you can't make it alone, but do not let that happen at any cost.
Abyss simple solution, just hmu I'll visit you sa UST, ayun may kaibigan ka na xD
Or transfer to Ateneo (though I'm graduating in December so make it fast lol)
@etd
Thanks, I'm feeling better now
exercise does make u feel better, i just do it at home. i dont even do it that frequently as maybe i should but its still nice.